The Kids
Unitarian Universalism's relationship with its young people is a subject of some curiosity for me. While mainline Protestant churches in my area seem to have given up on high school youth groups, my UU congregation has a vibrant youth ministry, and our sibling congregations in the area work together to host youth cons throughout the school year. And yet, once they graduate from high school, they're effectively not expected back until possibly when they get married. Is it possible that we could do better, or is this the way it has to be?
My son turned 18 this year and has graduated high school. He was looking forward to a few events this year that COVID-19 made impossible. While he was able to graduate, with proper social distancing on a football field, he didn't get to have his senior prom, or star for his fourth and final year in his high school musical. He also won't have his final shot at going to Camp Unirondack, and didn't get to bridge in-person at General Assembly. In fact, because of an email snafu, he didn't get to bridge virtually either. It's not a great year to be 18, it seems.
At this year's General Assembly there was next to no youth programming, as the volunteer youth organizers stepped back just prior to the event, citing inadequate pay for their work. There was, therefore, next to no programming. There were Zoom hangouts and youth caucus meetings just prior to general sessions, but that was pretty much it. And yet, I saw them make the most of it. My son spent a good deal of time on the Zoom calls and made it to the caucus events. I heard him in his room laughing and talking at various points during the day. During the General Sessions, where we had chat rooms named after types of trees, they took over the Maple Room. By the last day of GA they had declared it the 'Maple Autonomous Free Zone.' These kids are pretty great, and managed well despite everything seeming to go against them.
Next year at GA, whether in-person or online, I wonder if any of the seniors will be back. While there is Young Adult programming at GA, I've heard far less about it than the youth track. My impression is that most get involved in college, work, and their social lives, leaving (or making) little time for the faith community they were a part of. Having been to UU youth events and also hearing about them from my son, I'm not surprised they stay away. What I see when the youth gather is a fun and yet honest space, one where they seek to be brave and also to keep one another safe. They have their songs and traditions, along with their own vernacular. Once they're grown, this is all rather irrelevant.
The disjunct between the UU experience of adults and youth seems pretty stark. Adults don't typically go to the congregation expecting to commiserate about their problems, get silly, or stay up until the wee hours singing songs and telling jokes. It's as though there are two Unitarian Universalisms. There's the beloved community of the youth, and the committees of the adults. While it only makes sense that youth programming isn't going to be appropriate to every phase of life, the spirit and philosophy of these two types of UUism makes them very nearly stand alone. We can have 'intergenerational services' from time to time, but it isn't enough to truly bridge the gap.
It turns out that 'bridging' often leads right out the door for us. It seems to me that we lose the kids not because that's just the way it has to be, but because the UUism of the adults does not live up to the radical promise of our faith. If we could get our minds wrapped around that, perhaps our young adult ministries could really thrive.
